Hands Up Hoodie Sales Plummet After DOJ Report, Overstock Donated to the West Bank

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St. Louis, MO – More bad news surfaced for local businesses in Missouri this week after the Department of Justice released its official report of the Mike Brown shooting, contradicting claims that Mike Brown had his hands up in surrender before being shot in cold blood.

“We had a good run,” said Johnny Pettis who owns an urban apparel store in St. Louis.  “Up until a few days ago, I couldn’t keep these in stock,” said Pettis who pointed to a box of black hoodies with “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot” printed above two bloody palm prints.

Sales of snarky urban protest apparel have boomed in inner cities and college campuses alike since last August.  Even professional athletes and members of Congress donned similar attire as a proud national promotion of the now defunct fad.

“Now that it looks like Mike Brown never had his hands up, we’ll have to move on to something else,” said Pettis.  He showed us a possible replacement: a black hoodie with a silhouette of a head bent in embarrassment and the words, “My Bad” printed below it.  “Well, someone has to say it,” said Pettis.

As for the boxes of obsolete “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot” apparel, Pettis and other retailers have arranged for them to be donated to Palestinians in the West Bank.  Pettis hopes Palestinians can use the popular narrative for any isolated shooting incidents they may also want to sensationalize, helping to manufacture a social movement of their own out of thin air.

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Henry Calgues
Henry is the creator of Blights and Sirens and law enforcement's most assumed investigative journalist.

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